If boys quit playing, You’d know how great it feels to have a girl tell you shes in love with you.
Sometimes, I wonder why you’re even with me. I mean you say you like this kind of guy who wears gauges, Plays uke, raps, Dances, wears beanies, and all that. Im NONE of that. So why are you truly with me? If you want that? Then go for it.. Go get what you want. Cause im honestly tired of holding all this in, Crying everynight, Being a jealous fuck. Im tired. Im broken. I dont say shit cause all we do is argue. I just let you bitch me out, I let you do what you want. I let you say what you want, Even if it kills me inside. And worst of all? Is that you dont assure me that you love me, That you want me, That none of that matters cause im yours. You dont. Thats what hurts me the most. Thats why i get nightmares. Thats why i worry everyday. Thats why i cried when you told me that everyones saying we might end soon. It makes me feel as if im the only one who has so much feelings, Whos trying so hard to keep us together. Its like im not even a priority to you anymore… It hurts so bad.. All this to bottled in me.. No one to run to, No one to tell, No texting buddy like you have to run too and cry too all the time.. Im here crying, Venting to myself, Why? Cause i dont trust anyone enough with my emotions. And i fucking hate it.. Yanno how pathetic i feel crying while i write this? How i cant tell you any of this? You say i can tell you anything, But when i even try a slight bit to say something, It goes bad and down the wrong road, thats why ive learned to just keep everything in. Because when we fight, And i let you yell at me and all that, At the end of the day? I try my best to make you smile, Stop it, Whether it be flowers, Or even a damn fucking song. I do all i can, When all you do is sorry? All i hear is sorry this and sorry that, And i feel like theres no even emotion in it anymore. Like you’re not even sorry.. I feel like, When i say i love you? Like im the only one who means it, Like idk.. Thats why i dont say much unless im just saying it back to you… Cause it hurts when i say it now.. Cause i got all this burden on my chest… Its suffocating and its restricting me and im just slowly dying. All those webcams, All those calls, All those nights trying to make you like me, I FUCKING LOVE YOU! Cant you see it?! Fuck! I just dont know what to do anymore. One day im gonna explode, and sad thing is? You’re not the one im gonna end up taking it out on.. It’ll be myself.. Sigh..
Omg the notes.